ISO My Next Adventure

[solitarynote]

WHO: Sunny and YOU! <3
WHAT: Sunny is looking for the next Captain Spaceboy comic
WHERE: Starting in Communal Living Hut, can branch out to other areas!
WHEN: Post-Inbox thread with Kel, pre-sleepover thread, inspired by this conversation with Nagito
WARNINGS None right now but will add in Subject Headers as they apply!

While everyone else seems to be busy making preparations for the sleepover, Sunny mostly sleeps. And then, one day, a conversation he had with Nagito drifts back to him, and the teen realizes he hasn’t found that item yet.

Which prompts him to search, first around their communal living space and then branching out to the other huts. He tries to stay away from the ones marked with strands of grass (those ones walk, he says), but searching is hard work and… there’s a lot more stuff here than there was in the Oasis!

Sunny might need help… but he’s afraid to ask for help, because things feel shaky right now. He feels all out of sorts, stuck between a hazy dream and the mist-filled world he can spy outside the bedroom window.

Someone is bound to take notice eventually, right? So he shouldn’t be surprised when he hears the creak of floorboards behind him, even as his body freezes and he looks like he was caught doing something not allowed.

“… hi…”

Comments

[solitarynote]

[He’s still shaking like a leaf, eye wide. It’s a good suggestion… then Sunny wouldn’t have to go through reading it… but… what if the comic had something about him and Kel in it? What if the comic led to the Truth?

Then Frieda wouldn’t care for him anymore, and Sunny didn’t want that… so there was only one thing he could do!

The teen makes his way over to Frieda on unsteady legs, then plops down beside her (even if she’s still standing, he just can’t summon the strength right now). Taking out his notebook, he writes.]

Read together.

[Even if it’s distressing, even if he doesn’t want to… something in Sunny says that he should read it. If only to be able to avoid Frieda figuring out something he doesn’t want her to.

It’s more direct than his brain’s normal method of avoidance and hiding but… Something is telling Sunny that she can’t know. None of them can. Sunny and Kel had already been skirting around each other since, and if that was the case then no one was sure to forgive him…]

[urtitan]

[Good grief, he's really shaken, isn't he? Her expression turns sympathetic, all the more when he writes down his next message. He's facing his fear! She reaches down to rub his shoulder, plopped on the floor as he is, proud of him for being brave.]

Let me get us some pillows!

[Since they have such luxuries here, why should they not get as cosy as possible? Briefly leaving his side to gather several pillows and cushions, she soon returns and hands a couple to them. Whether he opts to sit on one and hug the other, lie on top of them on his stomach, or whatever other position, she'll match him so they can comfortable open the comic book in front of them. She doesn't rush him, letting him take in the rising tensions between Captain Spaceboy and his First Mate under duress at his own pace, though she occasionally does make little comments.]

It's no wonder the First Mate is stressed in that situation, hm? He shouldn't take it out on his Captain, but I'm sure he'll realise that himself.

[Hopefully, she isn't too optimistic there...]

[solitarynote]

[If only Sunny could be brave. But he isn’t - that’s why he’s in this situation right now. He can’t face Kel… not now… because the other said he knew that the thought of that was enough to make Sunny feel like the floor would swallow him whole again.

Sunny clutches one of the pillows to his chest, laying on his back on another and leaning partly against Frieda as they read. Her voice is soothing, melodic almost, and even her own surprises help to ease his feelings a bit. (Her patience, too, as always, as he worked through things.)

And yet…

It was much easier to forget. To pretend it didn’t happen. But then Kel came into view, and Sunny’s heart started hammering with nerves and… he just couldn’t. Not this time. Not yet

So that’s what Sunny did while they read the comic, even as his hands shook when they turned another page and the tension between the two titular characters mounted.

It’s fake. It’s fake. It’s all fake. Just a bad dream.

Frieda’s words might be optimistic, but they sound more hopeful and understanding to him. Sunny nods, still shaky, and writes something in his notebook.]

Maybe… maybe it’s the captain’s fault too…

[It was a bit of both characters’ faults, their unspoken problems, the fact they just kept going without addressing the issue - so much like Kel and him, Sunny realizes with dread - until it feels like the chasm is too great to cross.]

[urtitan]

[Reading like this is always near-therapeutic for Frieda, even with Sunny's current dilemma in the mix. Pausing to read his input, she readily nods.]

Oh, absolutely - they're equally at fault. If they honestly told each other what's worrying them, this probably wouldn't have happened!

[Rubbing his shoulder again, she turns the page, genuinely hoping that the characters will demonstrate good conflict resolution skills.]

[solitarynote]

[It stings less, knowing Frieda is talking about the comic characters, and yet…

If you talked about it, they would simply hate you, wouldn’t they?

That voice again. His worry, his fear, and yet the truth… it had gotten louder over time, more insistent.

Sunny tried to ignore it, focusing as Frieda flipped the page and…

Well… like a bruise, it had to get worse before it got better. It seemed like the first squabble was only the start. The crack that had divided their team started to widen. Provisions, what path to take through the marsh, even sleeping arrangements were all brought into question.

Sunny’s own fear grew with each new panel.

Yet… as the comic drew to a close… there was a bright light. Captain Spaceboy and Rococo had gotten separated from the rest of the crew during a particularly heavy mist, so the two were forced to sit down and talk.

”What’re we doing, Cap’n?”

“Squabbling like children… when really we should be sticking together.”

As the dreaded ‘find out what happens next’ came into view… Sunny felt like things might be alright. It wasn’t clean, the fight still left jagged pieces between the two but… they were trying.

The teen was quiet as Frieda closed the comic, clearly lost in his own thoughts.]

[urtitan]

[Even Frieda felt like she was on a rollercoaster ride (not that she'd have a concept of rollercoasters) while progressing through the comic. She might not be in conflict with anyone herself, but following the escalation was tense! All the greater was her relief when the characters eventually did talk things out. Certainly, the depiction was realistic enough in not immediately resetting things to the status quo, but it was a satisfying ending. Had the volume ended in a cliffhanger, she'd outright have made up a continuation to offer to Sunny as her prediction!

She gives Sunny time to process the story, wondering if she should actually ask him about his argument with Kel... but in the past, he's shut down over less, she she doesn't dare. In the end, she simply posits:]

Sometimes, people need to be forced to take a break from being angry to reflect on whether they really want to keep going in that direction. It's fortunate that they went astray in the mist, isn't it?

[She idly wonders if that might be the purpose of the fog in this marsh - to separate them from each other and make them face whatever person manifests for them.]

[solitarynote]

[Thankfully, the comic had ended on a semi-satisfying note! Frieda’s creativity is always welcome though.

As for that fight… it was probably better for her not to ask right out of the blue. She’s certainly getting more attuned to his moods.

Though…

Sunny nods, taking in her words, and yet… the teen hesitates. Scribbles something on his notebook, erases it, thinks, writes something else down.]

I made a mistake

[It’s an admission, as much as he is afraid of writing the words, but they are the ones he ended up with.]

[urtitan]

[Again, she comfortingly rubs his back.]

But Sunny, that's alright. Everybody makes mistakes. As long as they can be fixed, it's not a big problem - and even they can't be fixed, there's usually something that can be done. What kind of mistake did you make?

[A wide open question to allow him to be as specific or vague as he wants to.]

[solitarynote]

[It’s good that it’s an open question. That means Sunny doesn’t have to be truthful.

Or… does he?

The thought of lying to Frieda, of backtracking his admission, has something uncomfortable twisting his stomach into knots.

What hadn’t he made a mistake of? The past four years? Prior to that? The Incident? Trying to save his friend? Waking up from a dream that could have just stayed idealistic?

…

It took a long time for Sunny to figure out what to write. His hands still shook, so the letters weren’t really even.]

Had a fight

[Which fight might he be referring to? He hasn’t decided yet.]

[urtitan]

Hm, I figured. But we just saw that a fight isn't the end of the world, didn't we? Even if people hurt each other badly in the heat of the moment, with mutual goodwill that hurt can be mended. It's just like a physical wound: If it's properly treated, it'll heal so well that not even a scar remains. It just takes time, like all healing.

[Granted, here in the afterlife, any wounds incurred during the Crossing heal much faster than they normally would - but the downside is the crookedness. Daniil with his bad leg is a walking cautionary tale (much as she wouldn't say that to him).]

I'm sure you want yourself and the person you fought with to heal from it, don't you, Sunny?

[solitarynote]

[Frieda is making a lot of sense right now, especially in a way that Sunny can relate. The teen’s hand brushes his clothed eye. It was healing, right…? And yet, the idea of confronting Kel with this felt scarier than that.

Sunny had already tried to talk with Basil and failed…

But…

He nods, small yet sure.]

I miss being friends.

[Not that Kel hadn’t said they weren’t friends… they hadn’t talked really since Sunny had passed out. But… who would want to be friends with him when…?]

[urtitan]

[Good - she thought so (though she does wonder how bad it must have been for him to feel that at present, he's no longer friends with Kel).]

That's the most important part, and the first step. But I'm afraid you'll have to plan things out a little more, just like you need a treatment plan for an injury. Did you say something mean that you need to apologise for? Or did you tell the other person a painful truth that they find hard to accept? Or could you not agree on how to solve some other problem? We have to figure out how to mend this wound.

[solitarynote]

[Sunny was awful with communicating, afraid of saying sorry, afraid of losing everything because…

He always made mistakes. And they were always the worst mistake to be made.

Kel had been unsure in approaching him ever since their talk. That had to mean he didn’t want to be friends, right? For as friendly as Kel was, it made his lack of presence something even more obvious (and by now, Sunny would have turned back to pleasant daydreams, if he could, if only to salve the hurt).

Frieda is giving him so many options, things he couldn’t think about otherwise, which is good but… his throat tightens again, even though he isn’t speaking. He’s scared. Scared she will come to hate him too.

Two written words in response to all of her gentle questions.]

He knows

[urtitan]

[Huh... that answer is unexpected, and for a moment, her smile fades into seriousness.]

...

What does he know? A secret you were keeping? Was it something that'd make him angry at you if he found out, or something hurtful..?

[solitarynote]

I don’t

Know

[The writing is jumbled, as he tries to think. Sunny had panicked; Kel had been saying something, but it hadn’t reached him at the time. Did it make Kel angry? Surely, it had hurt him, if he knew. And Sunny was afraid, above all else, that everyone else would know too, and he’d be left behind, and…

He shook his head. Two more words:]

My fault

[urtitan]

[Comfortingly hugging him against her side with one arm, she continues to try and counter his puzzling notes with logic.]

If you don't know what you said or did wrong, how can it be your fault?

[solitarynote]

[Sunny shakes his head again. It’s… Sunny knows what he did, but he’s not fully aware of Kel’s reaction. Of how the other had tried to reach and let him know it was alright.

(Which, honestly, would have been baffling. Sunny should be hated for what he did. He knew this. Any other reaction to it must be some sort of dream, right?)

It was…]

My fault. All a mess

[His writing remained brief, and between the lines of text, he’s scribbling nonsense. Dark clouds and thick lines and endless abyss.]

[urtitan]

Hm...

[Feeling like they've reached a dead end, she sighs - it's not a sigh of aggravation or disappointment, though, just a soft exhale, and she hugs him with both arms.]

It's alright. Give it time. Maybe things will make more sense as they settle, and you'll see a path forward.

[What she doesn't say, not wanting to alarm him with the prospect, is that if he can't figure things out, maybe Kel can. She quietly resolves to speak with him sooner rather than later.]

And wrap!

[solitarynote]

[Frieda’s hug and reassurance help.

Her advice helps too. He just has no clue where to go from here. Sorry Frieda, you will probably have to get answers from Kel

So, for this moment, he leans into that hug and the safety that it provides. Right, they can just let what happened sit for a while…]