thecrossinglogs | so if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor

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so if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor

WHO: Nagito, OTA
WHAT: Nagito runs into another of those mist hallucinations. He likes this one a lot less.
WHERE: the walkways near the mangroves, where the mist is thickest
WHEN: sometime before the sleepover
WARNINGS potential for mania, general upsetting Nagito behavior, but it's not a guarantee

[Nagito hasn't done much searching here, after the first incident. The thing is, he suspects most people are avoiding the area for similar reasons. That means that if something is going to be missed, it could very well be in amongst the mangroves. Even when it's acting normal, the mist makes it even easier to conceal things. So he's out here again. He's tied a boat to the edge of the walkway, but he's not in it yet. He's picking his way carefully along the walkways, occasionally prodding at the water with a stick long enough to reach the bottom when he thinks something might be worth dredging up. He's doing that, and he's focusing very hard on doing that, and he's not looking at the girl who dogs his steps. Strawberry blond hair and ice blue eyes, with a perfectly tailored outfit of blacks and reds with just enough white to make everything really pop. She's drifting out over the water, so she has to be a hallucination. He isn't looking at her, except he doesn't dare let her entirely out of his sight, either. He swears he can hear her laughing.

His foot knocks up against a rock. He hardly has to think about it; he's reaching down and throwing it at the girl before he really knows he's moved. The rock sails through her head. But she's still there. He spits his words like he thinks she might be able to hear him somehow.]

You're even more pointless like this. Hateful and hopeless.

[He wishes she'd go away.]

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[Frieda is wandering out here again, too, though not for as proactive a reason as Nagito. She's once again mulling over her regrets, all the opportunities she let slip through her fingers. Will retracing her steps help her? With regards to matters back home, she's mostly accepted that with the state her mind was in, bound by her ancestor's will, she couldn't have acted much differently... but here, in the afterlife, she should have taken the chance to spend more time with the others, the ones who are gone, while she still had it.

She sees the apparition first, then the flying stone, then Nagito, after hearing his voice. This fog swallows everything. Stepping up to him, but keeping her eyes on the "ghost", she asks:]

Is that her?

[The girl who cast your world into despair? The bored genius? It's hard to believe. She looks so... normal, like any other teenage girl (well, of course her style isn't like anything Frieda has seen before, but she's simply a human being, a young person seemingly like any other). Then again, she once again reminds herself, she also still looked normal while housing a godlike power inside her. Appearances can be all too deceiving.]

[Nagito jolts when Frieda speaks--normally, he's more aware of his surroundings than that, but even now his eyes seem to need to be dragged away from the apparition as he turns to look at Frieda. He doesn't need to ask for any clarifications about her question; he never does, when the question is about Enoshima Junko.]

Yes. Even an illusion of her is obnoxious, as you can see.

[There's that raw hatred in his voice. It's not as bad as it was during the first Crossing, but it's reminiscent.]

She's lingering here... do you think she's haunting you?

[That's the wrong question, though, isn't it? Of course she's haunting him. The question is--]

Do you think our minds call forth these ghosts from the fog? Or do you think it's them who choose to appear to us?

[So far, she doesn't feel like this afterlife reflects their minds back at them outside of the memories they give up for the Crossing, so she keeps wondering if there mightn't be an overlap of sorts happening. Going by the responses to Nagito's survey a while ago, not all of the ghosts the others have seen are dead in their world, but perhaps the living might appear when they think of them, keeping a connection alive across realms.]

Edited 2025-06-15 15:50 (UTC)

[Nagito is always pale, but he gets paler at her words.] It must be something in us. They're hallucinations, after all.

[Not real. That's not really Junko. Nagito wraps his arms around himself and doesn't let her out of his sight even so.]

[She accepts his stance without argument, but it doesn't seem like it makes her happy.]

It would be nice if we got to see more of our loved ones and less of people who are... troublesome.

[Likewise looking at Junko, she wonders what made her so unsympathetic to her fellow people that she considered their suffering her entertainment. Despite having inherited memories of people not unlike her, despots and tyrants, and having felt their disregard and disdain for all living things as if it were her own, she was never able to fully grasp the root of what made them that way.]

We can look on the bright side; nobody would follow her into the water.

[He says that, but he knows--she could convince someone. But hallucinations don't talk.]

[She laughs, just a little, but turns serious again soon enough.]

Has she been on your mind?

[Has he, too, been restlessly ruminating about things he can't change anymore?]

Who would want to think about her? [It's an immediate disgust reaction, the same as spitting out something poisonously bitter. But, when he thinks about it for even another moment...] ...But I have to admit, I had been asking after the potential for negative hallucinations for a reason.

[He'd been concerned about just the sort of situation he's now in.]

Edited 2025-06-16 00:58 (UTC)

[She followed his conversations with the others, reading without contributing, and noticed his usual investigative approach... now, seeing just how upset he is to have Junko haunting him (and who could blame him?), it makes sense to her]

Were you anticipating that she might appear to you, then? You must've been hoping to avoid it.

[What can she even say to comfort him? Only the measliest consolation comes to mind:]

Now that it's come to pass, at least the anticipation is over.

[Nagito hums in agreement.] I had a warning, rather than simply being surprised by her awful face. [He bends down and throws another rock at her. It's at least a little satisfying, even if it's not as satisfying as seeing the rock break her nose would be.]

What did you come out here to do? Can I lend you a hand? Once you leave, she should stay behind in the mist.

[At least to her knowledge, none of them has seen any spectres near the village centre.]

[Need is out looking into the mist and standing very still, not blinking or breathing or shifting her weight. Not as still as she'd like; those tentacled creatures always put an eye above the surface to examine prospective prey before attacking, so she's got to check splashes, and most of them are innocuous.

She hears Nagito's voice. He's someone else who bears watching, so she breaks vigil yet again to do so. Eventually:]

I take it that's someone who'd need broken ribs et cetera?

[Her voice is sardonic, no more so than usual.]

[Nagito jumps a little, caught off-guard and more than distracted enough to show it. But his answer is near immediate. The hatred is so thick in his tone it's nearly a visible thing.]

She'd deserve worse than that.

[Metaphorically, Need turns to a new page in 'figuring out what's up with this kid'. Or to an old page without much in it; she'd been preoccupied during the first Crossing, so had only noted a couple things about Nagito's breakdown.]

All right. Sell me on it.

[Why someone who masks as heavily as he does would hate someone so openly is worth interest.]

[He doesn't want to talk to her, but he can't stop himself from doing it, either. Every word is bitter on his tongue.]

I've told you about talents before. Hers was despair. She masterminded the Tragedy. A worthless, hopeless, useless girl.

[Maybe it's a surprise the mastermind behind a near-apocalypse was a teenage girl, but only if you don't know teenage girls.]

[If he's looking, Nagito could see that Need reacts to 'worthless', just a twitch of her expression before it smooths back out. She is withholding judgement. Kid's world really seems to be one in which people don't have to study or research for very long, let alone go into development etc, to accomplish major things. Maybe that's why he devalues the idea.]

I see. So it isn't just the un-talented who are worthless to you.

[She's not sure how much to ask or say. Nagito's expression and body language are very different from that point in the last Crossing but there's a hectic quality that reminds her of it. He's not as in control of himself as he likes to be.]

[Nagito wraps his arms around himself, though he doesn't seem quite aware he's doing it.] Pond scum is worth more than her. Talentless people aren't worthless, they're just meant to be used by the talented to increase the amount of hope in the world. Someone whose talent is eliminating hope? That's-- She's the worst.

[Need lets her lip curl, just for a moment. Listening to the way Nagito talks about peoples' value... she can accept it referring to an enemy, but with everyday people? Then there are several things she considers saying.

> And you could have stopped her.

> You were close, weren't you?

> How long have you known her?

> You're afraid of her.

Ultimately she is too cautious. She's picked up that Nagito doesn't actually want to be talking. There are a lot of unknowns with him, and while she doesn't think she could make an enemy of him as profoundly here as she could have in the last Crossing, it could still happen.]

Is she the one that set you off in that first Crossing, in the dark?

Edited 2025-06-15 13:31 (UTC)

[Nagito's gaze drifts to Junko again, inevitably. Not quite looking directly at her, not quite willing to let her out of his sight. He forces himself to look at Need again.]

It's too bad I couldn't forget that entire incident. [Which means yes, she was the cause, and also that he wasn't the one who brought her memory there.] At least this one doesn't talk.

[It must have been what's his name's memory. Idol boy. Mako-something.]

Small blessings. [She's folded her arms over her chest, vaguely mirroring, though it's really quite a different gesture from how he's hugging himself.] Do you wish we'd all forget it?

Not because I want to hide what I am. [He doesn't talk about Junko, but that's not why. (Or at least it's not consciously why.)] Nobody should have to listen to her, even for a little while.

[Now why would that be? It's not that she'd say things that would be enraging or sickening, she thinks, that wouldn't make him react this strongly. This is some personal involvement. Something she's done to him? someone he cares about? Need raises her eyebrows, still steady and calm.]

Silver-tongued?

Unfortunately. She's--she was--very good at analyzing... Everything. People included. [But it's past tense. She's dead, and she's not here. She can't do anything to anyone here. He has to remember that.]

Edited 2025-06-15 15:21 (UTC)

Hmmm. I can see how that can be dangerous.

[If she reads behind the lines, anyway. The piercingly insightful flavor of charisma? There's a whole bunch of questions there.]

Why's this one sticking around like this? Mostly they come and go.

[the one who looks a great deal like Need when she was almost unrecognizably young has shown up a few times, the most persistent of her phantoms, but nothing like Nagito's colorful shadow here.]

Because she's like gum on the bottom of your shoe. You'd have to scrape her off, but who would want to touch her?

[Spewing hate about Junko is easier. It's easier than thinking about the real possibility that it's him.]

[He really does have this full-body reaction, huh. In a way Need is envious. She can hate people, but she can't feel even hatred so strongly, let alone the other emotions that have him in their grip. When she has her empathic powers she can share in the feelings of others and it's like having them herself, but she's cut off now. Distant.

She wonders if this person was really this much younger than him, or if it's that she died - it sounds like she died - years ago.]

Will it disappear if you head somewhere not this foggy?

[being here with the apparition, even if it doesn't seem to be acting like it can hear or see him, is probably not good for this strange, strange kid.]

She should. [He doesn't know what he would do if she didn't.] I was trying to search this area, is all. Someone has to, and everyone is avoiding it. I shouldn't let some vision stop me from helping.

I'm not avoiding it. Actually, I'm going to stay here a good while longer.

[this is her saying 'you can get out of this conversation by leaving'. Need genuinely doesn't look bothered at the thought of remaining here.]

You won't be abdicating that responsibility if you leave. What are you looking for?

[Nagito would really like to leave. His eyes leave Junko in favor of looking in the direction of the village. Still...]

It wasn't anything specific. Anything useful--not just things we could use, but information as well. This would be a good place to hide things.

It would be. The visibility alone is suggestive.

[Need wonders if Nagito staying here with the image of his nemesis - she hasn't thought of asking for her name - is a form of harming or punishing himself in a place without actual pain. But he's not so set on that that he doesn't want to stop. Unless he's just wanting to get away from Need herself, and her questions.]

You could write to me. I don't see all the same things you do, but I'm not blind, either. No one I've seen here consumes my attention.

[No hallucinations consume Need's attention--how lucky, Nagito thinks, with full awareness of the irony.]

If you really don't mind. I'm sure she'll leave when I do.

[She'll vanish. She won't follow him. She'd better not follow him.]

It doesn't do me any harm. You fretting and seething here is more distracting, if anything.

[He seems to be coming down a little bit. Need pauses for a second. Would it be encouraging his strange fixation... then again, it's so strongly rooted she's not sure indifference does anything either. She's also not sure how much he meant it when he passed the things out, he might find it insulting. Oh, well; she's got to take risks sometimes.

Need comes out of a pocket with the YOU'RE DOING FINE Makoto sticker, the worse for wear and with the sticky side covered in... leather dust?, but recognizable.]

Here. You need this more than me.

[Nagito's expression twitches into a smile. It's small, but there's something more real about it as well.] You kept it. [He knew when he gave them out it was possible people wouldn't. Most of the others don't really understand how special Makoto is. He reaches out to take the sticker.]

I'll have to give you another one later.

I have a lot of pockets.

[She forgot she had it until a second ago. Need presses it into his palm, wondering what's going on in there. Seems like a positive. There's something endearing and sad about that surprise.]

You know if you do that I'll just have to give it back again. I don't... need that kind of thing. My heart doesn't rise or fall as much as other peoples' anymore.

Maybe I could sneak you one when you're not looking. [He knows he can't--not without some serious preparation that he wouldn't waste on something like this, anyway.] But I suppose I can just think of this as keeping your sticker safe for you.

[He hasn't noticed yet--and maybe that has something to do with why--but Junko has vanished.]

If you manage that it's going right over your temple.

[she just doesn't want to be stuck carrying things.

A horse and a teenager who looks quite a bit like Need have appeared past her shoulder. Shorter than her - young enough he wouldn't have stopped growing - with very different hair, long black hair braided back, and a more serious, sober cast to his features. Like her he's got a chest tattoo with staring eyes over the collarbones, though it's new and the details are slightly different.

They're not sticking around but continuing on into the fog, the boy leaning against the horse with obvious affection, just at the edge of Need's vision. She doesn't turn.]

[Nagito's eyes flick toward the new hallucinations. Not ones he recognizes, which is a relief. A horse hallucination, too--but it isn't really surprising that animals would count as well, now that he thinks about it. He's pretty sure that from Need's angle she could probably see that something appeared, if not what. He's somewhat aware it might be rude to address it. He's also curious. He splits the difference.]

Is the chest tattoo a cultural thing? Or familial?

Not sure. [The line between her eyebrows deepens as she casts back.] It was... outsiders called us the 'painted people' for all our tattoos, but I don't remember if it was just our clan or the nation who loved them like that. [Need doesn't have other tattoos, or not visible ones.]

That's that idiot kid with my horse, right?

[Now she does turn her head but only sees the boy's back and the horse's rump receding into the fog. Need shakes her head. She doesn't seem strongly affected by this - puzzled, a little annoyed.]

Well, it's my horse. She'd bite anyone but me and, apparently, kin.

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so if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor

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