For all his pain, Celehar hasn't yet felt the urge to cry. He's wasted all the tears he has on this, or so he thought, years ago, when the wound was still fresh. He'd thought it a hollow ache that grieved him but was not so fresh that he could not carry on.
But that single questions sets his eyes blurring. He takes a breath, then lifts his hand to his face, a quick swipe of his sleeve to mask the damp eyes, adding an attempt to smooth away the curls coming lose from his braid, a poor attempt to mask the original need for the gesture.]
I loved him, Min Reiss.
[And yet as plain a declaration as that is, he finds himself bracing for judgement and withdrawal. Does he expect it? To love a murderer. He can only remember the gentle misunderstanding of the emperor. The scorn of the court and his cousin Csoru. The head of the village's hatred for him and Evru both...
He does not mean to turn away Frieda's pain, to compare it with his own - she was caught in that same, terrible situation as Evru. She and that man both - to kill, or perhaps to die in not killing - and maybe, in the end, to die no matter what choice was made.]
Having made that choice, what more can I do, but keep moving? If I am too weak to keep going here, when I found the resolve to kill him?
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For all his pain, Celehar hasn't yet felt the urge to cry. He's wasted all the tears he has on this, or so he thought, years ago, when the wound was still fresh. He'd thought it a hollow ache that grieved him but was not so fresh that he could not carry on.
But that single questions sets his eyes blurring. He takes a breath, then lifts his hand to his face, a quick swipe of his sleeve to mask the damp eyes, adding an attempt to smooth away the curls coming lose from his braid, a poor attempt to mask the original need for the gesture.]
I loved him, Min Reiss.
[And yet as plain a declaration as that is, he finds himself bracing for judgement and withdrawal. Does he expect it? To love a murderer. He can only remember the gentle misunderstanding of the emperor. The scorn of the court and his cousin Csoru. The head of the village's hatred for him and Evru both...
He does not mean to turn away Frieda's pain, to compare it with his own - she was caught in that same, terrible situation as Evru. She and that man both - to kill, or perhaps to die in not killing - and maybe, in the end, to die no matter what choice was made.]
Having made that choice, what more can I do, but keep moving? If I am too weak to keep going here, when I found the resolve to kill him?