The Crossing Mods (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thecrossingmods) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thecrossinglogs2024-11-09 11:57 am
thecrossingmods) wrote in thecrossinglogs2024-11-09 11:57 am
TEST DRIVE #1
TDM # 1
Welcome to The Cavern, wayward souls.
It's good to see you again.
The TDM is game canon and will be active NOV—JAN. For further details about the setting, please reference our current setting page. All the information there is fair game for this TDM.
It's good to see you again.
The TDM is game canon and will be active NOV—JAN. For further details about the setting, please reference our current setting page. All the information there is fair game for this TDM.
arrival
— THE RIVER
The River is wide, black, and deep. It is so deep, and so dark, and so cold, that when you wake deep beneath its surface you may, for a moment, think that this is all there is. An abyss, a vacuum, a void. Nothingness in all directions.
It might even be what you expected, coming from wherever you were Before. The blackness, at least. Perhaps the cold. Maybe even the pain: all-encompassing, all-consuming. If a mortal wound brought you here, it might feel like it's being torn open anew, over and over again.
The current is simply slow, however, not non-existent. And you can swim. (Or, even if you can't, that's more of a procedural problem than anything: you don't need to breathe down here, it seems. Perhaps you don't need to breathe anymore at all.)
It hurts. It hurts so much. But if you can just concentrate long enough to pull yourself up onto the rocky shoreline, or even enough to get your head above the surface of the water, that pain will dissipate, almost as if it was never there at all. When you have the presence of mind to examine yourself, you'll find that you are actually hale and whole, with your body exactly as you expect it to be.
There are others in your same predicament. Maybe they can help you; maybe you can help them. You're all in this together, after all.
— THE CAVERN
Once you do finally pull yourself free from The River, you'll find that there was never any abyss at all. On the contrary, there's quite a lot to see — though your eyes might need a minute or two to adjust.
The Cavern yawns around you, the main chamber alone large enough to house a small town, and the ceiling too high to make out through the darkness. There's some light: you can see the eerie green glow of bioluminescent plants lining far-away walls, and tracing the underside of the land bridge that extends over The River. There are pinpricks up high on the cliffs above The River that are organized enough to suggest intervention, or at least planning.
There's something else, too — something orders of magnitude brighter than anything else in the chamber. Its glow is dim on this side of The River, and it's difficult to discern where exactly the light is coming from, just that it isn't coming from anywhere outside the cave. You feel as though you might be safer if you got closer, but maybe that's just because any light at all is comforting in a situation like this. If nothing else, you'd probably find whoever is holding it.
Either way, whether you follow the light or don't, there's plenty of time to be alone with your thoughts. Or to share them, if you're so inclined, with the others that are here with you, emerging one by one from the depths of The River.
Perhaps you've already accepted what's happened to you. Perhaps you need time, and it will take some discussion with the others to arrive at the one thing you all have in common. Perhaps even after that it's still too much, or you still aren't ready. However you get there, though, there's no way around it: you are dead.
If you have questions, The Ferryman is available to answer them.
KEEP TO THE LIGHT
— THE LANTERN
The source of the light is a lantern — specifically, it is The Ferryman's Lantern, an ornate metal lamp hanging from the end of a tall wooden staff. It's large, weathered from use, and despite how improbably far its glow casts — from the land bridge over The River, where The Ferryman is holding their vigil, up the cliffs above and into the subterranean city's many tunnels — it isn't so bright that it can't be comfortably looked at. The Lantern has an unmistakable aura of comfort and safety (maybe because of, or maybe in addition to, the light it casts), no matter how close or far you are from it.
It's only at the very far edges of the glow, where the last bits of light are swallowed by the darkness, that this sense of safety begins to fray. It's here that you can see them, prowling the boundary: wisps of something that you can barely see. Many somethings, in fact.
They can't cross into the light, it seems. All they can do is wait for you to leave it.
— THE SUBTERRANEAN CITY
Maybe you'd rather stay for now, though. There's plenty still to explore within The Lantern's shroud: to start with, the network of tunnels you can see built into the cliffs above The River.
The biggest hurdle is figuring out how to get into the city. You can spy the entrances, marked by dimly glowing torches set into the open mouths of tunnels, but they're so high up! Surely you're not meant to climb?
Well, yes and no. Some investigation reveals a series of wood-plank catwalks leading up to the lowest tunnel entrances, but it's a long climb. If you're feeling impatient (and brave), there's also a system of pulleys, ziplines, and simple rope elevators connecting the higher levels to the lower ones. The ropes have clearly been here a while, but they're probably safe, right? What's the worst that could happen, you die all over again?
(Too soon? We get it.)
There's plenty to see once you reach the city itself, even if there isn't much in way of a population. (Until now, at least!) The lamps and torches lining the walls are packed with the same bioluminescent plantlife that can be found elsewhere in the cavern, so there's no risk of them spontaneously going out. There are signs placed strategically throughout the tunnel system to point you toward major landmarks, using only simple iconography.
The city itself certainly appears lived in, even if it's currently empty; in fact, if you pay close attention to the signage and the decor, there appear to be layers of activity not unlike the rings of a very old tree. Older tapestries covered with newer ones with entirely different patterns; boxes of radically different table trinkets carefully stored in apartment closets, to make room for new ones on a shelf; evidence of the stone market stalls having multiple different usages, many of them apparently in sequence.
Some of those tapestries or trinkets might even be familiar to you, like they came from a culture of your homeworld. Strange, though, since you didn't arrive with anything similar on you. Where could they possibly have come from?
VENTURE IN THE DARK
— THE WRAITHS
The Cavern is big, and The Ferryman's Lantern only reaches so far. If you want to explore, you'll need to brave the darkness— and whatever else might be waiting out there for you.
You'll have some light, at least, even if it isn't much: the luminescent plants grow throughout the cave system, including its winding tunnels and cramped smaller chambers. As for whatever else might be lurking out there, well... without The Lantern, there's not much you can do to keep them at bay.
The Ferryman calls them "wraiths", if you were curious enough to ask beforehand. They're more what you might typically expect from the idea of a ghost: pale and insubstantial, like mist struggling to take and keep a shape.
And they certainly do have shapes; those shapes are just incomplete, sometimes blurry, like a pencil drawing that has smudged and faded over time. They have faces that seem to have been stretched too long or too wide; they have eyes with no color, unblinking, always staring back; some of them have mouths that never close, while others have no mouths at all; some of them have hands with wispy tendrils of grasping fingers; others' limbs seem to have lost their shape entirely.
There are dozens of them lingering just outside the boundary of The Lantern, and many more roaming throughout The Cavern. They do not speak, or otherwise make any sounds at all. They do not swarm, either, even when one of The Ferryman's souls crosses the boundary. They simply watch, and, seemingly at random, some will choose to follow you anywhere you go throughout The Cavern.
Annoying, maybe. Creepy, certainly. But that seems to be all. Just remember: The Lantern is the only thing that keeps the wraiths at bay. They can't hurt you, out in the darkness, but they will notice you, they will follow you, and they will remember you.
If your exploration takes you to the catacombs, you may find that your wraith shadows get lost just as easily as you in the tunnel system. Perhaps they get distracted? Or maybe they have some curiosity about the tunnels that outweighs their curiosity about you? Either way, it's possible to lose them for some amount of time there— but the wraiths aren't bound by petty things like physics the way you are. They will find you again eventually, either by floating through some wall, appearing at the dead-end of a tunnel, or even just waiting at the entrance for you to emerge again.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself stumbling upon the whispering pools, you'll discover that wraiths gather in droves there, circling the pools, sometimes trying in vain to press their faces to the water. The wraiths that followed you here seem to be the only exception; whatever the pools are saying, it's apparently not interesting enough to draw them away from you.
Aren't you lucky?
Image credits: 1, 2, 3 + stock imagery unless otherwise noted
The River is wide, black, and deep. It is so deep, and so dark, and so cold, that when you wake deep beneath its surface you may, for a moment, think that this is all there is. An abyss, a vacuum, a void. Nothingness in all directions.
It might even be what you expected, coming from wherever you were Before. The blackness, at least. Perhaps the cold. Maybe even the pain: all-encompassing, all-consuming. If a mortal wound brought you here, it might feel like it's being torn open anew, over and over again.
The current is simply slow, however, not non-existent. And you can swim. (Or, even if you can't, that's more of a procedural problem than anything: you don't need to breathe down here, it seems. Perhaps you don't need to breathe anymore at all.)
It hurts. It hurts so much. But if you can just concentrate long enough to pull yourself up onto the rocky shoreline, or even enough to get your head above the surface of the water, that pain will dissipate, almost as if it was never there at all. When you have the presence of mind to examine yourself, you'll find that you are actually hale and whole, with your body exactly as you expect it to be.
There are others in your same predicament. Maybe they can help you; maybe you can help them. You're all in this together, after all.
— THE CAVERN
Once you do finally pull yourself free from The River, you'll find that there was never any abyss at all. On the contrary, there's quite a lot to see — though your eyes might need a minute or two to adjust.
The Cavern yawns around you, the main chamber alone large enough to house a small town, and the ceiling too high to make out through the darkness. There's some light: you can see the eerie green glow of bioluminescent plants lining far-away walls, and tracing the underside of the land bridge that extends over The River. There are pinpricks up high on the cliffs above The River that are organized enough to suggest intervention, or at least planning.
There's something else, too — something orders of magnitude brighter than anything else in the chamber. Its glow is dim on this side of The River, and it's difficult to discern where exactly the light is coming from, just that it isn't coming from anywhere outside the cave. You feel as though you might be safer if you got closer, but maybe that's just because any light at all is comforting in a situation like this. If nothing else, you'd probably find whoever is holding it.
Either way, whether you follow the light or don't, there's plenty of time to be alone with your thoughts. Or to share them, if you're so inclined, with the others that are here with you, emerging one by one from the depths of The River.
Perhaps you've already accepted what's happened to you. Perhaps you need time, and it will take some discussion with the others to arrive at the one thing you all have in common. Perhaps even after that it's still too much, or you still aren't ready. However you get there, though, there's no way around it: you are dead.
If you have questions, The Ferryman is available to answer them.
KEEP TO THE LIGHT
The source of the light is a lantern — specifically, it is The Ferryman's Lantern, an ornate metal lamp hanging from the end of a tall wooden staff. It's large, weathered from use, and despite how improbably far its glow casts — from the land bridge over The River, where The Ferryman is holding their vigil, up the cliffs above and into the subterranean city's many tunnels — it isn't so bright that it can't be comfortably looked at. The Lantern has an unmistakable aura of comfort and safety (maybe because of, or maybe in addition to, the light it casts), no matter how close or far you are from it.
It's only at the very far edges of the glow, where the last bits of light are swallowed by the darkness, that this sense of safety begins to fray. It's here that you can see them, prowling the boundary: wisps of something that you can barely see. Many somethings, in fact.
They can't cross into the light, it seems. All they can do is wait for you to leave it.
— THE SUBTERRANEAN CITY
Maybe you'd rather stay for now, though. There's plenty still to explore within The Lantern's shroud: to start with, the network of tunnels you can see built into the cliffs above The River.
The biggest hurdle is figuring out how to get into the city. You can spy the entrances, marked by dimly glowing torches set into the open mouths of tunnels, but they're so high up! Surely you're not meant to climb?
Well, yes and no. Some investigation reveals a series of wood-plank catwalks leading up to the lowest tunnel entrances, but it's a long climb. If you're feeling impatient (and brave), there's also a system of pulleys, ziplines, and simple rope elevators connecting the higher levels to the lower ones. The ropes have clearly been here a while, but they're probably safe, right? What's the worst that could happen, you die all over again?
(Too soon? We get it.)
There's plenty to see once you reach the city itself, even if there isn't much in way of a population. (Until now, at least!) The lamps and torches lining the walls are packed with the same bioluminescent plantlife that can be found elsewhere in the cavern, so there's no risk of them spontaneously going out. There are signs placed strategically throughout the tunnel system to point you toward major landmarks, using only simple iconography.
The city itself certainly appears lived in, even if it's currently empty; in fact, if you pay close attention to the signage and the decor, there appear to be layers of activity not unlike the rings of a very old tree. Older tapestries covered with newer ones with entirely different patterns; boxes of radically different table trinkets carefully stored in apartment closets, to make room for new ones on a shelf; evidence of the stone market stalls having multiple different usages, many of them apparently in sequence.
Some of those tapestries or trinkets might even be familiar to you, like they came from a culture of your homeworld. Strange, though, since you didn't arrive with anything similar on you. Where could they possibly have come from?
VENTURE IN THE DARK
The Cavern is big, and The Ferryman's Lantern only reaches so far. If you want to explore, you'll need to brave the darkness— and whatever else might be waiting out there for you.
You'll have some light, at least, even if it isn't much: the luminescent plants grow throughout the cave system, including its winding tunnels and cramped smaller chambers. As for whatever else might be lurking out there, well... without The Lantern, there's not much you can do to keep them at bay.
The Ferryman calls them "wraiths", if you were curious enough to ask beforehand. They're more what you might typically expect from the idea of a ghost: pale and insubstantial, like mist struggling to take and keep a shape.
And they certainly do have shapes; those shapes are just incomplete, sometimes blurry, like a pencil drawing that has smudged and faded over time. They have faces that seem to have been stretched too long or too wide; they have eyes with no color, unblinking, always staring back; some of them have mouths that never close, while others have no mouths at all; some of them have hands with wispy tendrils of grasping fingers; others' limbs seem to have lost their shape entirely.
There are dozens of them lingering just outside the boundary of The Lantern, and many more roaming throughout The Cavern. They do not speak, or otherwise make any sounds at all. They do not swarm, either, even when one of The Ferryman's souls crosses the boundary. They simply watch, and, seemingly at random, some will choose to follow you anywhere you go throughout The Cavern.
Annoying, maybe. Creepy, certainly. But that seems to be all. Just remember: The Lantern is the only thing that keeps the wraiths at bay. They can't hurt you, out in the darkness, but they will notice you, they will follow you, and they will remember you.
If your exploration takes you to the catacombs, you may find that your wraith shadows get lost just as easily as you in the tunnel system. Perhaps they get distracted? Or maybe they have some curiosity about the tunnels that outweighs their curiosity about you? Either way, it's possible to lose them for some amount of time there— but the wraiths aren't bound by petty things like physics the way you are. They will find you again eventually, either by floating through some wall, appearing at the dead-end of a tunnel, or even just waiting at the entrance for you to emerge again.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself stumbling upon the whispering pools, you'll discover that wraiths gather in droves there, circling the pools, sometimes trying in vain to press their faces to the water. The wraiths that followed you here seem to be the only exception; whatever the pools are saying, it's apparently not interesting enough to draw them away from you.
Aren't you lucky?
Image credits: 1, 2, 3 + stock imagery unless otherwise noted
The Subterranean City (CW: suicide mention)
He found himself freezing at the sight of the familiar girl, anxiety bubbling up in his stomach like it never did before and making him feel like it was hard to even breathe- not that he needed to, but his body was still not used to 'not feel'. She wasn't the only one looking for Sunny, but at the moment the teen almost completely forgot about the other boy who had to be around.]
Mari?
[He almost regretted choosing to head toward the city, they were still far from it and... he had little to no other thing to focus on. Just his feelings and the fact that Mari was there. He was... much taller than the kid she once knew, more muscular, stronger, but Kel still looked like, well, Kel. And even if normally he would have tried to put on a smile on his face, he just couldn't at the moment. This was Mari. The girl he once loved like a big sister and who took her own life. And Sunny did the same. He... couldn't even try to put a label to the storm of feelings he was currently dealing with.]
Is that... really you?
no subject
"Kel! Have you see Sunny?!" [Her hands found Kel's arms, although the strength to grasp them seemed almost non-existent in her panic.] "I-I can't find him... we were arguing a-and... I need to apologize!" [Her eyes pleaded with you to tell her anything that might find him. She didn't question why you were hear, merely taking it as a sign that they were meant to find each other.] "P-please... tell me..."
[She hasn't seemed to notice that he was very much different than the Kel that she knew, so blinded by her panic.]
CW: suicide mention
Of course he had seen Sunny, but just before arriving there, not...]
Ah... [He glanced down at her fingers, biting his lips and trying to hold back tears. He wanted to yell at her, letting her know her selfishness turned things so awful Hero suffered for years, that Aubrey changed for the worse, that Sunny took his own life for whatever reason and Basil- he couldn't even think about what Basil did. Still, when he finally found the strenght to talk, his tone was soft.] I don't know where he is but we can look for him together, right? No need to get scared at this point, right? If... if he's not around, we can only hope for the better.
[It would mean Kel's body managed to soften the fall enough to keep him on the 'other side' at least. Oh, please, please...]
I... breathe with me. Remember the breathing exercises Hero taught us? Do you want us to do them together?
Re: CW: suicide mention
Steady your heartbeat... Don't be afraid. It's not as scary as you think. The words seemed to help her brother... coupled with that and the breathing exercises that Hero had taught them- when the pressure got to be a little too much for her- her breathing slowly became less erratic. In... out... one... two... three... and so on...
The next emotion she encountered was guilt. Here she was, losing her composure, in front of a boy who she thought of as a little brother... he didn't deserve to see her like this... she should be the strong one... She wished she could take the moment back... but life sadly didn't work like that...]
K-kel... I'm sorry...
[As clarity continued to erase the moments of panic, she suddenly noticed that Kel was a lot taller than she remembered... and muscular... was he almost as tall as Hero? That didn't seem to match up with when she saw him a couple of hours ago... ]
no subject
The teen moved his arm, bringing his hand over hers and giving it a gentle squeeze, pressing the delicate fingers between his hand and his own forearm. This wasn't fair, she hurt everyone, she hurt Hero and Sunny the worst, he wasn't supposed to console her of all people- not after what she did. Still, he couldn't help but join her in her breathing exercises, slowly trying to accompany her to a more relaxed state.
Part of Kel was fully 'fuck you, Mari', but for the most part he focused on the fact she was upset. So... if she had a fight with Sunny, he had to be around too, right? He wanted to cry.]
It's okay! It's okay. You're okay. This place is scary.
[She was so young, shit, so young! It took him a lot of self control not to drop the calm and reassuring façade.]
Once we're both a bit calmer, we'll start... figuring things out together, okay? I got your back, Mari.
no subject
I'm sorry... I... [She took another big breath before looking back at Kel. True enough she had to look up now instead of down to meet his eyes... just like with Hero... somehow the little boy she knew had... grown up? That didn't feel right to her but surely there was a reason?]
Kel... what happened? Where are we? Why are you... older? [The action alone of saying it out loud made it seem that much more real... If Kel was different, then what about Sunny? Aubrey? Basil? Hero? Had she somehow missed something?]
no subject
For now, though, all he sees is a scared young girl and he has to swallow his own feellings- Mari is here. Mari is here and she doesn't know she's dead, somehow- hiding his own horror, once realization hits, is difficult. His stomach churns, his lungs squeeze air out and he- he shifts around and, only taking half a step back, he moves with the intent of cupping her face between his hands, trying to be as reassuring as possible.]
Hey. No need to be sorry, mh? [Not for that at least, but for everything else? Yes. Why did she hurt Hero? Why did she leave them all? He... Has to bite his own lips, that line of thoughts have to sit to thee side until he's alone again.
How. How doesn't she know where they are? How... does he tell her?]
Mari. It's been four years since we saw each other. Since any of us saw you. Don't you really know why?
no subject
She froze, and then flinched but couldn’t pull away. She was forced to confront the simple fact and yet…]
T-that’s not very funny… four years? Are you kidding me? Why would you say that…?
[She had just seen them all a few hours prior, with everyone agreeing to meet up after the final practice… for what she couldn’t recall… Surely there had to be some other reason?]
no subject
The anger left space to horror as it sunk fully to him that she really didn't know. What if he found Sunny? Was he going to... also not remember? What killed them? But then why could he still hold that memory close?]
Mari, just look at me...
[He was older, calmer and... and he reached for the and she rested on his forearm, bringing her palm to his chest and pressing it where his heart would have been busy beating. Instead? Just silence. This was going to hurt but there was no simple way around it, nor a painless one.]
I'm so sorry.
[For telling her this, for failing both her and Sunny. God, he couldn't even keep his own feelings aligned right now.]
no subject
[Whatever reply she was going to say cut off as soon as he placed her hand gently to his chest. One… two… nothing… but that meant… Oh god… no no no no no! That couldn’t mean… but it had to…]
W-what… but… [Her words came out staggered as her mind tried to comprehend what it was that he was telling her…
No heartbeat… means death… Kel’s… dead? But that couldn’t be right… he was standing right here… with her…
Come to think of it… when was the last time she felt her own heartbeat?
She moved her other hand shakily to her own chest… One… two… nothing…]
T-that’s impossible… But… I- you-! [The tears came once again and she clung to the boy she viewed as a little brother, sobbing.] W-why?
[All she wanted to do was apologize to her brother… to see him and make sure he was safe and yet… God she prayed he wasn’t here too… cause that would mean…]
no subject
Thinking a dear friend murdered you?
Then again, the alternative was... being aware he killed more than one person when he jumped. Maybe... if they had a chance to speak with Sunny....]
I... fell. From a very high place.
[Coincidences, huh? Not from Kel's point of view, he didn't know she fell, but... they both fell from a high place
Why was a very good question, though. He wanted to shake her, tell her that HE was the one who was supposed to ask her such things, that she had no right to be so upset when everything that went wrong was her fault- that's why he pulled her a bit closer and held her between his arms, brushing one thumb against her face in a poor attempt to soothe her.]
It's okay. It's okay, really. I'm... I'm sure we'll figure something out. After all we're basically siblings, right? We'll stick together.
[Wait, she mentioned... fighhting with Sunny? DId she kill herself because something happened with HIM? How... Was there a lot that no one really knew, after all? Did Sunny lock himself away because he felt responsible for her death even if Kel couldn't imagine anything being his fault?]
So... you were looking for Sunny? [No words on the fact he was ALSO looking for him.]
CW:Talk of accidental death/murder (Spoilers for Omori in thread)
Y-yes… I… we will… [She tried to control her breathing so that she could at least think. If she blocked some key things… skirted around them then maybe…]
Sunny… [She thought back to the last thing she remembered... them arguing at the top of the steps…] W-we were arguing… but about what…?
[She tried to think why- over what… something about her playing the piano and his violin? But beyond that… she didn’t know why. They practiced all the time after all…]
E-either way… it was at the top of the steps and-
[She froze. She remembered losing her footing… being pushed… falling down the stairs…
But that’s impossible… he wouldn’t… Sunny would never… [She trailed off… her face a mask of concern… besides as much as she wanted to see her brother… she really hoped he wasn’t here…]
I… really hope he’s not here… because that would mean… [She shook her head, refusing to believe that her brother had died…] E-either way… you said you were looking for Sunny too?
TW: suicide talk
Yeah. It will be fine as long as we have each other.
[
Yeah. It will be fine as long as we have each other.
[<small<Sunny. Sunny was involved, somehow? HE pullled her closer, pressing her cheek against his chest so Mari wouldn't see him frown and focus on... that. Why Sunny? Why him for both of them?
He wanted to ask, he wanted to know.
Did he... try to kill himself before? Did Mari die because she tried to save him? But then, how did she end up in the garden with a noose around her neck?</small>]
What about him? What happened with him, Mari?
[<small>No sense in holding back. HE can at least alter the truth just slightly on his side, though.</small>]
I... yeah. When I fell, he was the last face I saw. He was... up there too. Hopefully he's not around here, right?
Re: TW: suicide talk
Sunny was… with you? [But why? Why would the two of them be up there anyways? One question at a time she supposed though… first she would answer Kel’s, then ask her own…]
I… remember the feeling of being pushed… feeling my feet leave the ground… seeing the railing of the stairs and then… nothing… [She froze up again and her hands found purchase in bunching up Kel’s shirt.] But… Sunny wouldn’t push me… would he?
[Her voice was small, desperate sounding even. As if she herself couldn’t believe that she was uttering the words…]
no subject
[The sinking feeling of dread, listening to her talk... what. How. Sunny? Pushing... her? Needless to say, his brain was suddenly working in overdrive- Sunny was involved in a fight with Basil they still had no explanation for, was apparently involved with Mari's... last memories? Was definitely the reason Kel died in the first place, but at the same he knew that was not his fault. What other contact clues did he even have? Sunny isolating himself completely, Sunny's father leaving the house and merely declaring he no longer considered Sunny his son without elaborating further...
Kel bit his lips. No. There had to be a good explanation for all of that, Sunny was a good person and he still loved him as his own sibling, even if they weren't related by blood, perhaps... perhaps whatever happened was just out fo their control. He wanted answers, but also feared them.
What if Sunny took his life because- no, there was no way.]
Mari. We... found you in the garden. Your parents did, not at the bottom of a staircase. Maybe you got... hurt? And then the memories after that are... altered? Missing?
Sunny is a good person, I... don't think he'd ever hurt anyone on purpose.
[But why would Sunny even push her? It had to be an accident, nothing else. Still, there's a very important question, now...]
Mari. Sweet, sweet Mari... you never... wanted to die, right?
CW: thought of suicide
[It had to have been an accident… she had tried to stop him from leaving. That much she could recall so it’s possible that she was just… in the wrong area at the time. Maybe she just lost her footing when she tried to stop him…]
It’s possible… Maybe I wandered out of the house after the fight… [Just cause she didn’t remember it… She had hit her head after all…]
U-umm… n-no… I… not that…
[She couldn’t tell him that the thought had crossed her mind before… when the stress felt like too much and she didn’t know how to cope… but she would never… unless their fight really had been that bad… She couldn’t imagine her Sunny- her little Sunshine- hurting someone so maybe… the fight had just… broke her? But regardless of her thinking, she couldn’t tell the boy she thought of as a little brother that she had contemplated ending her life before… Best to try to redirect that conversation a little…]
Y-you said that it had been four years… is that cause… I… died. And then… [Four years had passed? It seemed unlikely to her but the more she thought about it… here Kel was in front of her… definitely not the little boy she had seen last… If anything, he would be older than her now huh? What about everyone else then?]
no subject
[But by accident? It happened once, it could have happened other times. Kel let out a sigh, raising one hand up to caress her head. This was... shit. Pure shit. And it didn't explain how she ended up hanging from a tree. Maybe her parents set up... maybe they staged a suicide? To keep Sunny safe? No, that made absolutely no sense, why was he even thinking that?]
Maybe. Who knows. Perhaps it's a good thing you don't remember, mh? Dying is ugly, so if you don't remember... it's for the best.
[Kel placed a kiss on the top of her head. She didn't think of killing herself, so... he wasn't going to mention the cursed tree. Maybe he could bring up some nice things? It was difficult when hisown heart was being shattered, but...]
I... yes. I don't know how time works in here, but it's been four years for me. Life went on, me and Aubrey kept fighting like clockwork, Basil kept busy with his plants and Hero... oh, Hero still thinks about you. We all went to.. visit you, recently. We had a picnic, there- [By her grave] And... you're still the person he loves the most. He is living for you too, now he'll have to do the same for me... he's in college. Ma' convinced him to study as a doctor and he told me he wants to he a psychiatrist, eventually. Help people who are struggling. That's... very much like him, isn't it? According to my aunts, he also turned in a 'rather handsome young man', but as his brother it's my duty to keep him in his place, heh.
[Wow, he couldn't even put into words how mch it hurt even talking about his brother.]
no subject
[Just the word sounded foreign in her mouth. It was still a strange miracle
cursethat they could talk at all… but one that she was selfishly grateful for.A bittersweet smile appeared on her face as Kel talked about all of their friends. It didn’t surprise her that they all still kept to their hobbies, oh and Kel and Aubrey still fighting… some things never changed. She had to fight back the familiar pinprick of tears when Kel mentioned Hero however. Her Hero.. her childhood crush, boyfriend, and one day she had hoped would be much more to her. But alas fate was rather fickle sometimes…]
You know… it’s strange talking about life when I’m… not there anymore… but… I would have hoped he could move on…
[a lie if she told herself… it was hard… thinking of Hero moving on to someone else when she was still… well… present… even if she couldn’t be there for him…] I’d hate to think he’s not living life to its fullest just cause I’m… gone… But all that does sound like him. [Mari let out a small laugh despite the pain in her heart from being unable to be there for them all.]
And… Sunny? What about him? [Some part of her regretted asking the question… and yet… she hoped that even after her being gone, her brother had still found a way to live.]
no subject
[He could remember the wind between his hair, the warmth of Sunny's small body between his arms, the fear... and then nothing. Just the river.
At her words he left out a small, forced chuckle. Thank God she couldn't see his face from that position, there was no myrth to be found on it.]
Well... you are the love of his life, Mari. He'll always have you in his heart- it doesn't mean he cannot live his life, he's still my amazing and positive big brother, but you have a special place in his heart. [He wasn't going to mention the year of mourning, not how long Hero blamed himself for 'not noticing' what was wrong with Mari. There were puzzle pieces he clearly missed there and he wasn't going to blame her for something that may have not even been her fault.] I got crushes too, you know? That's when I realized how special you were for him. And... huh...
[Oh, it stung, it stung so much, he wanted to go back home and hug his family. Now Hero was stuck mourning two of them. No, Three.]
Just because you're not there, it doesn't mean he's not living to his best life. He's making sure to live a good life even for you. In your name. That's his way of keeping you by his side. So...
[Was it true? Was it not? Who even knew, maybe Kel was just trying to help her feel better. And perhaps he dreaded answering the next question- he... couldn't be fully honest there.]
Well. Still short. Still very quiet. He's actually moving away from our little city, so we kind of spent the three last days together. Hobbeez, Gino's, name one of our childhood spots and we've been there. [He bit his lips, pulling her a bit closer
no subject
[Her heart clenched at how Kel described the way Hero thought of her. It was… bittersweet. For her it seemed like such a short while ago and yet for Hero… and to know that Kel had had something similar in a way… if she was up for it she might ask him… but maybe later when things were a bit calmer and they had a better grasp on this whole situation.]
I’m glad that you got to experience something similar though.. Maybe later, if you feel up to it, you can tell me about them. [She tried smiling at him as best as she could. She truly would like to hear about Kel and his special relationships, what he himself got to experience and maybe if they were people she knew.
At the mention of her precious brother, she wasn’t surprised all that much that he hasn’t changed. She always did try to push him outside of what he was comfortable- for his own good- and she supposed with her not being present that it would be harder for him… It was hard not to wince at what Kel said next.]
Sunny’s… moving? [When she thought about it… it made sense in a way that her family might want to leave, given the circumstances surrounding her death… although she didn’t know all the particulars…] Thank you Kel… for getting him out to have fun and experience things…
no subject
[He was angry at her, but she was also his big sister. He hated what he thought she did, but also kept going to her grave to talk when he had no one else who'd listen. She still was... Mari. Bitter feelings aside, he could... roll with it. For now. He could even make up stories about Hero, if needed, never telling her of... that long year where he shut himself off.
Right. Making up stories. Making her laugh.]
I mean, if you want. I can tell you all about my failures. Like the time when I found the courage to ask my crush out and the reply was 'oh, sure, mind if my boyfriend comes too?". Hah... It ended up as a basketball group dinner at Gino's, basically, with few of the cheerleaders with us. [Way it true? Was it not? It didn't matter.] Oh. Or that time, before she made new friends, when people got convinced I was crushing on Aubrey of all people. Hah...
[He didn't even like girls. Hah indeed.
Silence followed, then, as he let out a small sigh. Right. She... couldn't know. that the reason Sunny died was because of him. Because he got him outside.]
He is. Some city not too far away. I was planning to get his address from your mom and visit now and then, for old time's sake. He's... he was family too, you know? But- huh... I can tell you about... anything you want. Truly. Just ask questions, I will answer. I have stories about everyone.
Even gross ones. My parents? they suddenly got all lovey dovey again once Hero left for College. Disgusting, I know. [Because they had a kid. That Kel cannot remember at all.>]
Sorry for the wait!
What about your successes? Not everything in life is a failure. [Oh what a hypocrite she was. If it involved herself- any small mistake or mishap she made- she would easily deem it a failure. But when it came to her friends… she could always see the bright side. Always looked forward to the small moments they all shared.]
I think he would like that… [Then in another heartbeat she realized that Kel wouldn’t get to talk to anyone again… just like her… Her hand tightened around his, in a way trying to comfort them both.]
S-sorry… this is going to take some time to get used to… [She gestured around them, as if that would explain what she was thinking. She took a breath and smile once more at hearing about his parents.]
You know… my parents got like that before they had Sunny… [The memories were vague to be sure, she had been little when Sunny joined their family. But the little snippets of warmth and flashes were enough for her to remember at least that. How her parents acted before they announced that she would be a big sister.
Ah college… her and Hero had been preparing for that… Knowing him- and Mari was pretty sure she was right- he was excelling at that too.]
Come to this about it… [If Kel was her age now…] What are your plans? After you graduate?
no subject
[Then again, very small religiour suburb town, he wasn't exactly open about being interested in a boyfriend. And Mikhael's family was literally two houses down the street, they were literally in 'Religious Alley' right there.]
Gotta stick with your friends, right? I'm... not sure he'd like that, but I can be rather stubborn. Not that it matters now. I... I think I'd be happy not to see him again, given the circumstances.
[He also didn't know how to feel about Sunny considering... well, their death. The teen squeezed her hand, leaned in to kiss the top of her head in a reassuring way and just gave her space to process her own feelings.] Trust me, I get it. I really do.
[But yes, let's focus on... better things.] Well, no little siblings for me or in the way, I don't really want to think of my parents being lovey dovey too much. As I said: gross.
And as for my plans... not college, no. My grades just were never good enough, so I was considering going to find a job somewhere. Not sure what one can find without big papers saying you studied, but...
What about you? what did you dream about?
no subject
Trust me... you've got all the time in the world to find that 'special someone' so take your time alright? Just because me and Hero have been together for a while shouldn't make you feel like you need to find anyone soon.
[Ah... there she went again talking like they were still alive... but some habits couldn't be stopped... then again... maybe it would be better it she talked the same as normal... after all... who's to say they couldn't live while here?]
T-true... it would be better if Sunny wasn't here... [She could understand Kel's sentiments just fine... but her heart still clenched. The big sister in her couldn't help but want to make sure her brother was fine... even if he remained alive and she... well wasn't. And if Sunny wasn't here... she didn't know what she would do with these complicated feelings in her heart... but one problem at a time she supposed...
She did giggle at Kel's reaction to his parents being in love.]
Hmm... you never know... being an older sibling... its something that you don't realize changes you for the better till it happens... I wouldn't change it for the world.
[Her heart did clench sadly at the depreciating way Kel talked about his grades. Why couldn't her friends see themselves how she did? Although she supposed that they would say the same to her...]
Ah it's all over-rated anyways. You're good enough just the way you are Kel! [She ruffled his hair, still marveling at the fact that he was taller than she was now...] If you want to go to college and study, do so. But if you don't... I know you'll accel at whatever you decide to do. As for me... hmm... I always did like playing the piano... but I also like cooking... although neither of those require a degree...
[Despite studying for college... she had been rather undecided on her major, figuring she would start with the basics first and try out numerous courses to see what she wanted to do...]
(no subject)
(no subject)
no subject
[He could remember the wind between his hair, the warmth of Sunny's small body between his arms, the fear... and then nothing. Just the river.
At her words he left out a small, forced chuckle. Thank God she couldn't see his face from that position, there was no myrth to be found on it.]
Well... you are the love of his life, Mari. He'll always have you in his heart- it doesn't mean he cannot live his life, he's still my amazing and positive big brother, but you have a special place in his heart. [He wasn't going to mention the year of mourning, not how long Hero blamed himself for 'not noticing' what was wrong with Mari. There were puzzle pieces he clearly missed there and he wasn't going to blame her for something that may have not even been her fault.] I got crushes too, you know? That's when I realized how special you were for him. And... huh...
[Oh, it stung, it stung so much, he wanted to go back home and hug his family. Now Hero was stuck mourning two of them. No, Three.]
Just because you're not there, it doesn't mean he's not living to his best life. He's making sure to live a good life even for you. In your name. That's his way of keeping you by his side. So...
[Was it true? Was it not? Who even knew, maybe Kel was just trying to help her feel better. And perhaps he dreaded answering the next question- he... couldn't be fully honest there.]
Well. Still short. Still very quiet. He's actually moving away from our little city, so we kind of spent the three last days together. Hobbeez, Gino's, name one of our childhood spots and we've been there. [He bit his lips, pulling her a bit closer, lying wasn't for him but...] He took your death pretty badly. But... we were all finally working on it!