[It's such a small thing, but somehow, the first thing Celehar's mind latches onto is that he doesn't know the words to deflect this. 'It is my Calling' cannot be said here, can it? For though the death-dreams hunt him relentlessly, they are not the weight that drowns him. He had his chance, to turn away forever from that life, and it was worse.

He feels the grief here too, but - a hollow ache, not subsuming the loneliness but in equal measure alongside it. The intertwined misery, overwhelmed by the brush of love against his mind, loosens his tongue. It is impossible not to turn towards the kindness in some way, like a sunflower turning towards the warmth of its namesake.]

I did not, until the Emperor compelled me. I... in truth, I tried to use him against myself. [In retrospect it brings rise to a wave of embarrassment and shame, but in the moment, he had felt so little. Simply tar-thick exhaustion.] Yet instead of retribution, he offered me a glimpse of a life I thought lost. Given so much more than I deserved... what else could I do?

Even here - especially here, on Ulis's threshold. To still be here, I must, at least... [He trails off, the corners of his mouth twitching, a moment of self-recrimination. But he has not done a good job of it, has he?] At least listen.